Forgiveness…
“Ugh! He wrote “that” word.” Well it had to come up sooner or later. We can’t talk about God without it coming up, it’s Gods nature, like love. God is love, and He’s living inside of us who call on Jesus as Lord, so we are love as well. God is grace, giving us what we don’t deserve, like forgiveness. So we too are grace, giving forgiveness to those who don’t deserve it. We have so much more inside of ourselves that it will blow your mind if you ever sat down and thought about it. All the attributes of God, jam packed inside of us, waiting for us to use them to live this life. Wow!
It’s Friday morning, I’m drinking my 1st cup of coffee, and guess what? It’s still dreary outside lol. It was awesome that the sun came out on Wednesday where I live, it’s been awhile. It felt real good to get some natural vitamin D, and other good things. I got to meet my oncologist on Tuesday. I guess I’ll be seeing him a lot for the next 3 years. I’m glad he is a nice guy. Thank you Jesus! I have to get a PETscan first to find out what is going on with my lymph nodes. So another delay before treatment starts. I’m using the patience that God gives us. I was also using His peace that surpasses all understanding as the Dr filled me in on what will be happening over the next 7 weeks. What a beautiful gift that peace is. As you may remember from an earlier blog, I had trouble with anxiety. Medication helps but I can still get amped up sometimes. This peace that I felt was from meditation, meditation on His Word, especially Philippians 4:4-9. In those verses is the famous verse that Paul wrote to them: “Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
“Well what does peace have to do with forgiveness?”you may ask. Everything! You cannot by any means try to forgive someone or yourself without the peace of God. It calms you and helps you to make sense of it all. In Colossians 3:15 again Paul tells us, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, “ And let the peace of Christ, to which you were called in one body(church), rule your hearts. And be thankful.” Not only does peace guard, but it rules our hearts. The word rule in the Greek language means umpire or arbitrator. This means that the peace of Christ is the supreme authority over our thoughts and actions, guiding us to make the right choices to bring peace and harmony. So yeah, peace has a lot to do with forgiveness. The ultimate ending is overcoming ourselves to bring harmony and unity into a situation.
Meditating on His words brings you to this place of understanding, and living out what you are learning. Feelings are a gift from God but they shouldn’t rule us. They just get us into a mess. Reading the letters of Paul, Peter, and John are extremely important to one’s growth in Christ. At this point I’m going to jump back into my testimony, because I was getting ready to learn all of this.
Early into my life with Christ, I was under a mentor’s guidance, who led me to forgive the bullies from my past through prayer. This was a hard thing for me to do because I wanted revenge still after all these years. I accepted Gods forgiveness, but wasn’t quite ready to share that with anyone else. I had no peace about it because I hadn’t learned about it yet. I didn’t know what Paul wrote in Romans about vengeance being His, not ours. I was studying the life of Jesus so I could portray Him as best as I could. It was years later that I discovered the truths of the book of Romans, and there’s a whole lot of them. One can never exhaust it completely because when you think you have done so, there’s another truth that the Holy Spirit will reveal to you.
Romans chapter 12 verses 9-21 will teach you how to live, serve, bless others, especially those who persecute you, live at peace with those you would rather not extend peace to, and revenge. We are to overcome evil with good, love our enemies (a recap of the words of Jesus), and by doing so it will bring conviction upon them and quite possibly bring them to the saving grace of salvation, which is Gods ultimate reason for us to act like Him, for He doesn’t want anyone to not get a chance to turn to Him.
The time I really learned all of this was when my 2nd wife left me for her high school sweetheart. The year was 2006. This is after I took a pastoral job at a new church in ’01. That was after I relapsed after the plays were over because I thought she was cheating on me then with someone who was supposed to be my friend. Turns out he was very toxic for me. An older brother in Christ who continually led me down the wrong path that I was too naive to recognize back then. The fact that I was fine when he moved away and enjoyed 10 years of sobriety should have told me something when he came back to town and I went back to my old ways. Be careful of those who call themselves Christian’s and take advantage of Gods grace. Living a life with God and the world. It doesn’t work. Just do your best to live at peace with them, but don’t get involved with them.
I got back on the “wagon” as they say, and had 4 good years, or so I thought. We worked and served great together, even raised our 3 children well, but we drifted. To busy. By ‘05 we were headed for divorce( 2 back to back hurricanes didn’t help either). I was blaming myself and didn’t know what was happening behind the scenes. After a nine day fast, only drinking water, I got back in line with the Lord. I had drifted off the path He had for me. He forgave me and with that renewed strength I was able to get through the divorce, and becoming a single dad(my two youngest children) with 2 jobs. But alas, I was having trouble forgiving her, and him.
It took a couple of years, but I did eventually forgive them both. During that time we got together with my oldest daughter during the holidays and birthdays. It was rough and very humiliating, but I loved my kids that much. I had to step down from ministry(can’t be in ministry when your family is in disarray), and focus on getting myself back on track mentally. I spent early mornings with the Bible and Jesus, reading and comprehending what I was reading. Putting it into action I slowly began to release my emotions and put them in their place. I fixed my eyes on Jesus, the one who gave me the faith to trust Him. I forgave them both and had peace. We get along today, and I still pray for them to be blessed (which they are, at least monetarily). And the wonderful thing about it is that I don’t have any more problems forgiving people. It’s pretty much automatic. No thoughts of revenge. Just grace, mercy, and peace that rules my heart.
I also went back in time and truly forgave my best friend and those who made my life miserable. Some are my facebook friends. I can think of them without animosity. But not all was hunky dory. Rejection came roaring back and blindsided me. Our enemy(satan) never rests. Thank God for Philippians 1:6, “…that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”(His second coming) God gives us a break and tells us that our transformation will be until we leave this earth. So if something comes up on you that you thought was taken care of, it’s okay, it may have not been properly dealt with before. Through prayer, petition with thanksgiving you can overcome all things.
Sorry this was a bit long lol. Forgiveness is a large subject and I only touched on it a little. Everyone is going to go through different aspects of forgiveness. Some are not so tough, and some will be outrageously tough. Just remember who’s inside you, strengthening you to be able to do what you in yourself cannot do. Also remember how much it cost Jesus to forgive you and that we should forgive others by laying down our feelings and nailing self to the cross.
I’ll pick up my testimony next time and let you know how I made out with that dumb ole rejection. Until then, Happy Weekend folks! May God bless you and keep you, and may His face shine upon you. ❤️
Draw near…
It’s a dreary day in south Florida today. We have a tropical depression that’s stuck right over us bringing us intermittent downpours and wind. I’m very grateful that it is not a hurricane, and I’m praying they continue to stay away from the east, and gulf coast. Last year was enough!
I can tell some weather system is drawing near, as my body is letting me know. The ole atmospheric pressure change wreaks havoc on me and all those who suffer with arthritis, or sinus issues. This qualifies as the not so good drawing near.
No, we would rather have our spouse draw near( amorously not with the look upon their faces lol), or our children no matter how old they are. These are the times for the warm fuzzies, and awesome memories. This is how our Heavenly Father wants to be close to us. He longs for us to be close. I didn’t always think so. He felt distant when the bullying didn’t stop, or when I couldn’t stop drinking and wanted to. He definitely didn’t seem close during my “fox hole” prayers. Ever experience that? The cold reality that no one is near to help, including your Maker. This is a good segue back into my testimony since this is where I learned how to draw near to God(still learning).
I wrote last time that I had told God I wouldn’t portray His Son unless He fixed me. I also wrote that He healed me from addictions and I was sober for ten years. It was an awesome moment in my life to get to the root issue of rejection and know that was driving me all these years. I do wish I had done more about it though, as it reared its ugly head years later. I was very new to all of this Christian stuff, still a babe as they say. But for the first time in my life I was experiencing what it was to have faith. I really felt sure that God was preparing me for this role in the passion play, but circumstances said otherwise. Our church, where we attended with our daughter, and also worked(I was the maintenance guy), was going through a split. We got to experience the ugly side of so called Christians(kinda what’s happening in today’s America). I don’t think that any one should have to see that, especially those who are very young in the faith. Yet faith, that all would be well, and the church would be restored, kept us going. That faith grew exponentially which got us through the scare of losing our jobs.
Soon a new senior pastor was voted in, and he decided to keep the other pastors. Every one was happy, and I got to see how faith really works. “For we walk by faith and not by sight.” (2Corinthians 5:7 CSB) Though the circumstances about us precluded bad scenarios, faith brought hope, and hope brought strength to combat the whispers that it wasn’t going to happen the way we had been praying and believing for. Victory for Jesus, and I was heading to what He was calling me to. I was drawing closer to Jesus with every step forward.
You see, James 4:8 has more to it. It has 7 other verses before it. These verses are extremely powerful and important before the warm fuzzies happen. Jesus began to show me the way I was to go, the truth I needed to get there, and the life I was going to experience with Him was going to be extraordinary. I studied these verses, humbled myself before Him as He taught me about Himself. The more I learned and understood, the closer He came near. We were becoming inseparable. I was pouring over the gospels and memorizing His words. I read anything I could get my hands on about what Jesus went through that Passover week. I wanted to portray Him as best as humanly possible to reveal Him to the people who would be there. To bring Him glory and honor. One night during a dream that I still remember 33 years later, He brought me to the foot of the cross. I was there, at Calvary, during His crucifixion watching Him struggle to breathe and talk. I wasn’t allowed to see His face, but I experienced everything else. I awoke and felt His presence so strong. There is nothing like it ever.
“You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13 CSB). I love that verse so much! Most people love verse 11, which states how God has a plan for us, and that it is very good. But few know the power of verse 13. And James 4:6 states; “… that God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.” You cannot be proud if you are seeking God with all your heart. When you do so you are submitting to God. Then when you resist the devil(James verse 7), he will flee from you. God will be near you and you will know His presence. That’s when you can truly do all things through Him. You’ll be so in-tune with Jesus that you will be accomplishing His will in your life. Now that’s the life! Heaven on earth!
I thoroughly enjoyed those days. He was truly glorified and many people surrendered their lives to our Lord. I went through a lot of different trials during that time but it helped me to grow stronger in faith and in his presence. There was coming a time though that I will stupidly choose to do things my own way, but that’s for another time.
Drawing near to God is so worth it. Today I can’t do anything without Him. He’s there first thing in the morning, and last thing at night. Throughout the day we talk, in my mind, about everything, and so can you. Especially with the continuous chaos all around us, you need Him and His love, mercy, grace, and power. Submit to Him today, resist the enemy (Satan), draw near to Him and enjoy His presence.
Until the next time, may God richly bless you with all that you need. Have a wonderful week ahead!
Time flies when you are having fun…
Can you believe it’s already the end of September? Seems like it just started. It has certainly been a rough month out there. My younger son lives in Michigan, in Flint, right near where the shooting took place. My daughter- in- law works with some who were attending the church. We never know what a day will bring, ask Mrs. Kirk. I thank God that He knows everything and we can trust in Him implicitly. And until the earth is eradicated of sin, we will continue to see these things happen in a more rapid pace. Until people continue to choose sin over righteousness, there will be pain, and suffering. Remember we are given free will.
At this point I would like to say that I am in by know way peddling the gospel. I make nothing from any of this. I am looking for a remote job to supplement my disability check, but this is not it. Also I apologize to the Nextdoor community, I was unaware I could only post once a week, the content I have been posting. So, this is it for this week, but I will be posting on other sites different blogs.
Now that that’s out of the way, it’s time to go back to my testimony. If you remember I had divorced my wife, went to rehab, got engaged, and married the girl that I had hired at the Deli counter. In the summer of ‘87, we went on a trip to Florida to visit her natural father and his family. They brought us to their Pentecostal church to hopefully introduce us to Jesus. As I’ve said before, I was raised in the Catholic Church and had left because I felt empty. My current wife and I attended a couple of times but didn’t care for it. I was very nervous attending this church because of all the stereotypes that circled these churches.
I will tell you that when the music started I wanted to dive under the seats lol. My wife squeezed my hand like she was going to do 2 years later giving birth to our first daughter. We got through it and sat down. The pastor read from the Bible and prayed. Not bad, I thought. I enjoyed his sermon so much, it was like the Bible was opened to me for the first time and it left me wanting more. I didn’t surrender my life that day, but I was definitely on my way to doing so. We went back to New Jersey (where we moved to), and I bought my first Bible and started in the gospel of John like I was told. Every morning I prayed a written sinners prayer and the prayer of St. Augustine before leaving for work. In July of ‘87 I knelt in our one bedroom apartment, alone, and asked Jesus to come into my heart and cleanse me of all my sins. I wanted Him to take away the pain and guilt of the divorce and to help me fight the cravings for alcohol. I began praying in what is known as my prayer language, and I thought I was going nuts haha. I quickly called my father-in-law and he explained it all to me. He prayed over me and I was feeling very light and joyful. Better than any high I ever had. Being of an addictive personality, I quickly wanted more of Jesus and the Bible.
Looking back these 38 years, I can say it was a very rocky road. But without my relationship with Jesus I would have been 6’ under a long time ago. It’s not all peaches and cream when you get born again. Far from it. Then why do it? Because you gain a Heavenly Father and a Brother named Jesus, who gives you His Spirit to live a new life. We still have free will, but we are included in an amazing family where we will live forever, with a new body like our Brothers. I can’t wait for that part! That’s just a few of the bonuses of surrendering your life to the one who gave His life for you, for the whole world.
A year later in August of ‘88, we began our journey in a new way of life and moved to Florida. I began my job in a cabinet shop making, and installing kitchen and bathroom cabinets and countertops. My wife was pregnant and got a job at a McDonalds. I was busting my butt in the Florida heat for 7.00 pr/hr. We became very involved with our new church and new friends. We were great on the outside but struggled at home. My inability to understand the dynamics of relationships was causing me to make poor decisions. I struggled still with alcohol and the newest guilt caused by my perfectionist ways especially on myself. I was also annoyed with God for not taking the cravings away. I came to know of several people in whom God took all that away from them and to this day are clean and sober. When the inner voice(spirit) was telling me that I was taking over the portrayal of Jesus in the big dramas, I laughed. I told Him that there was no way I could do that without Him healing me from the constant struggles. He did. For 10 years I enjoyed a life of sobriety. Other things cropped up though. Satan hates God and anything or anyone that stands with Him, serving Him with all their heart. I’ll put a close on the story at this point. I will pick up here next week for those on Nextdoor. For the other several media spots I’m on I’m going to send out something on Friday.
Don’t forget to hit like, or subscribe. A comment or two would be appreciated. God bless and enjoy the rest of your week 😃
Waiting on the Lord…
Here’s a silly question. Have you ever had to wait for something? Of course you have, we all have. How many of you have the waiting thing all figured out? How many of you love to wait? Yes we are low on patience, even with God. We pray for someone or something and want an answer right away. Maybe we’re wanting a new job, or a spouse. Have you ever tried to do more good things expecting God to answer your petitions quicker, and He doesn’t? Maybe it’s because He loves to hear from us, and He only hears from us when we need something. What do you think?Let me know in the comments section below. Maybe He is stretching out our faith and increasing our hope.
Today I find myself at home. My days of watching my lil guy are over. They will be heading out in a few days. It’s becoming a reality. I mean who really likes when your kids move out of state. 4 of my kids will be up north and my second daughter is still nearby with my second grandson. (I have 4 🤗) I’m praying for them to succeed in all they do out there. I will definitely miss them but it has been through a lifetime (my daughters) of prayer and a lot of waiting that the Lord has found it to be time to answer them. Now I’ll be praying differently for them, and waiting on those prayers. He never tires of hearing from us!
I also just recently had to wait on a MRI report for the cancer. Wednesday, after 2 weeks of waiting, I got to find out if it grew since May(I had no insurance at the time), and what the treatment plan would be. Two months of radiation, everyday but the weekend. Then I’ll be waiting for that to end, and to hear if it’s gone or not. Always waiting. And now that my days of 10 hr a day grandson sitting are over I’m waiting on a few applications for a part time job to supplement my disability payments. What retirement, HA!
It has been said that God makes us wait to help nourish the fruit of patience within us as well. When we receive the free gift of Grace (Jesus) in our lives, we are immediately filled with the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit brings what the apostle Paul calls the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) to help us with this life. There are 9 of these characteristics of Jesus. There’s love, joy, peace, patience or long suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. These are all ours, and the Spirit will help us to operate in them. Every circumstance we go through we have a chance to use these qualities. The more we do, the more they grow, like patience. In our own strength we will struggle in every area. But with his super natural strength we can become very patient people, filled with self control. I like that idea.
All of this was the plan of God since the beginning of time. Salvation through Jesus and all the help we need to live the life He died to give us. We have the strength to wait in traffic or in a line at the grocery store. To deal with what’s going on in the world, and react with self control. Also to wait on an answer to prayer and much more. Psalm 27:14 tells us to: “Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, and He will strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord”!
As I’m writing this, I took a few minutes to get my mail, and received the hospital bill from last month. I had applied for aid since I had no insurance so I was hoping it was an adjusted bill. Nope. Still a quarter of a million dollars. So I’m thanking God for patience and asking him to strengthen my heart as I wait on him to help with this mess. I recall through the help of the Spirit another verse I love. It is Isaiah 26:3 which says: “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in you”. It brings a calm upon me and I roll it off my shoulders onto His. Thank you Jesus!
You may of heard this verse, it’s quite popular and well loved. Psalm 46:10. It commands us to “Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth”. It’s the first part that we memorize and we should. It soothes when we are waiting on Him to move in a certain way or to heal someone, and even for when that healing doesn’t take place on this side of heaven. The second part of the verse gives me great hope that one day(and only God knows when, not some human so called prophet), God will be exalted, that every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord.(paraphrase of Philippians 2:10-11) What a glorious day that will be!
So next time you find yourself waiting and start feeling a bit impatient, remember what we talked about here. Let the Spirit of God grow that fruit of peace, patience, joy, and self control. Remember He is God, and thank goodness we aren’t. Remember He will give you perfect peace, not like the world gives. Keep your thoughts upon Him and He will calm you down.
I’m gonna sign off here for now. I hope y’all will have a great weekend. Don’t forget to comment or like the blog, it encourages me lol. Also if there’s anyone who went through radiation treatment let me know how it went for you please. Thank you so much! May God richly bless you all!
Happy Fall
Good afternoon, and welcome to the day they call the fall equinox.
I longingly remember scenes like this from my northern days. Right now I’m sitting with my grandson, in my daughter’s house, where there’s no a/c. Certainly doesn’t feel like fall lol. It’s a balmy 91 degrees in here. It went on the fritz yesterday while they were packing the Pod. Getting ready to head to the a/c parts supply house and with much prayer, have one of their friends replace the run capacitor, and see if it was just that simple. (Me and ladders don’t mix anymore) As they say(who’s they) “it’s always something”.
I remember when my kids first saw the beautiful colors on the trees. They were amazed. Of course I had to show them how to rake them up and yes, jump into that pile. Good times. It’s fun to show Florida kiddies leaves and snow, and watch them enjoy playing in both 😁
Hope y’all had a great weekend! Thanks once again for all the visits, views, comments, and likes. It’s my prayer to be a help to all my readers, or just one, whatever Jesus has planned. Today I would like to share some thoughts on the title of this blog.
“You can say all you want about this Jesus guy, as long as it stays inside your church building. Do not share your faith outside the four walls.” Words and statements like these have been spoken since the day after the resurrection of Jesus Christ. The ancient prophets before Christ were slandered, beaten and killed because they spoke the words of All Mighty God, the creator of the whole universe. These words were not to condemn His people but to warn them that if they continued in disobedience they would have to reap what they have sown. God gave each of us a free will, to choose Him or reject Him. Along with His 10 Commandments He gave quite a list of rules to follow and things not to do. It was for mankind’s own best interest to follow these laws. God spoke to Moses the wonderful blessings that would come when the laws were followed. He also told him to list all the curses when such laws were not followed. Time after time before Jesus was born, His people chose the later. Now it was really quite impossible to truly follow the laws to the letter. When one was broken they were all broken. This went on for years. God had a plan, a way to bring to us the truth, clothed in humanity to show us a new life. No more sacrifices for forgiveness, no more hundreds of laws to try and keep. No, there would be only two. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and love your neighbor as you love yourself (humbly). All the law wrapped up in a nutshell so to speak. Oh, and one more thing, Jesus would be the only way to God Almighty, Our Father who art in heaven.
This way is the biggest stumbling block of all time. So much has been written, or spoken, debated, and fought over this one fact. This is where so many people get so offended that they will get to the point of fighting even killing over this way. Just as the disciples of Jesus were(except John), and thousands of martyrs since. Bottom line, it’s pride, satans biggest weapon, and our biggest weakness. Ever hear your teenage child say, “don’t tell me what I should do.” If not, I’m sure you can feel the hair on the back of your neck stand up. We do not like to be confronted with pride.
Our God and Father is so loving and merciful to have withstood so many rejections over time. His amazing Grace is there just waiting to be lavished on whoever calls upon the name of Jesus His Son. When a person surrenders their will for that of the Fathers, they are “born again”. We now have His Spirit to lead and guide us through all the crazy challenges that life has to offer. I think that is an awesome trade. Yet the world finds this offensive. Where in the Gospel of John, 11 chapters earlier, Jesus speaks His famous words that we see at football games and on sports players faces. The verse 3:16. But just as important is 3:17! It states: “For God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world (as so many believe today), but that the world through Him may be saved”.
A good and just God, who only wants a relationship with His creation, gave His only Son that we may have life, and life more abundantly (John 10:10). I don’t know about you but reading about some of my life, which can be anyone’s life, I would be crazy not to accept such an offer. I was wandering making selfish decisions, but He is the way. I was confused and didn’t know what to do, but He is the truth. I was dead inside and wrought with guilt, but He is the life. Why insist on your own way when He offers you so much, not to mention eternal life with Him.
If you’re reading this and you haven’t already received Christ in your life, and you kinda feel as I did back 30 something years ago, why not talk to Him about it, He’s waiting with open arms to receive unto Himself. It’s my prayer that people’s eyes would be open to seeing Jesus and the Father as they really are, not as those who are prideful and filled with nothing good to say have painted Him to be.
It’s almost dinner time, but I’m not hungry. I love to share His words with you. But anyway, I was able to teach my son-in-law how to fix the a/c with the part my grandson and I went out to get. So they should be comfortable tonight. I figured I would continue a bit with my testimony before signing off.
Back in ’84 when my son was born, (He’s doing very well for himself and his family in the Carolina’s. He has an older son and 2 younger girls ❤️) I was drinking everyday, all day, and denying I had a problem. At this time I had an affair and left my wife with my beautiful son and daughter. It makes me sick to even say this, as well as just thinking about it. This is the guilt I was wrought with, I did have a conscious, but it was very much polluted by alcohol. A year later we were divorced. During this time I was caught drinking at work, and had to go to detox, and a month long rehab. I lost my counter and was back to being a regular clerk. I was just happy to have a job. You reap what you sow. I got married at this time but I was what you call a dry drunk.
Well I’m going to end here. Here’s a couple of pictures from ‘92 and ‘97. My first year of portraying Jesus, only 8 years removed from my diabolical actions. God uses the willing, as He continues to cleanse us from the inside out. And 5 years later when I wrote and directed my first drama production. May God bless you richly in all your ways. TTYS ❤️
This-way-truth-life.blog
Hello again! Happy Friday! I hope you all have a great weekend ahead. Not sure what we’re doing, all I know is Sunday morning is church, and my afternoon won’t be ruined by the losing Dolphins. They took care of that already.😔
As I’m sitting here at my youngest daughter’s house watching my 3 year old, Autistic grandson, I figured I’d pickup the tablet and write some.(since he is listening to the song brown bear for the 100th time 🤗) I first want to say thank you for their many views, the several amazing comments and the 1 like, yay! lol But really, thanks for the encouragement and the testimonies. I’m so glad that you’re following Jesus into new and better days ahead.
I mentioned my grandsons autism because I know there is probably quite a few people out there who can relate. He’s been awesome these past several months, as I volunteered to watch and teach him for my daughter. The only thing that is a bit frustrating is that he likes to throw everything on the floor, including food he doesn’t eat. I bought a broom and long handled dust pan so I can clean up after him. Clean up is not his favorite words , ha. Unfortunately for me, they’re moving to Colorado after next week. My daughter is going to work in the field of helping autistic children and my grandson will be able to attend a school just for him. I’m sad but very happy for them. You always want your kids to succeed better than you did. It’s a definite answer to prayer.
I’ve wondered for about 7 years now if I myself may be autistic. I met a young boy back then who was autistic and had a lot of interaction with him. I had never had this experience before. I began to notice things about his personality that reminded me of me. I began to study autism. You know everything you want to know in this world is stored in your lil phone. With the birth of my grandson and his testing which confirmed my daughter’s suspicions, I wondered if the autism came through me. God had just brought me through a dark time earlier this year, of bad depression and suicidal thoughts (from gabapentin for nerve pain), that I had to speak to a psychiatrist. After speaking with her over several weeks and her switching up my medication, I came back stronger and realized I needed to have myself tested as well. After many hours and a ton of questions, I qualified with a score of 5 out of 7. It was a relief to finally get to know myself, and put a lot of questions to rest. When I continue on with my past, you’ll see how autism affected my relationships and why I was bullied in school.
So even though I have been walking with Jesus for so long, He is still working in me everyday. Even though the chronic nerve disease (CRPS) is getting worse, I trust him for healing now or on the other side of heaven. Though I just spent 5 days in the hospital last month as they removed 16 blood clots from my lungs, I know He’s got me. And to top it off satan threw in cancer to top it off. As 1John 4:4 says “ You are of God, little children (those who proclaim Jesus as Lord of all), and have overcome them(satan and his angels), because He who is in you is greater than he(satan) who is in the world.” I stand on this promise, and trust that He has greater things in store for me, greater ways to serve Him for His Glory.
Which reminds me that with all that is going on in the world, especially this nation, we do not fight against people. As followers of Jesus, we are to fight against satan and all the unseen evil, not against flesh and blood (my paraphrase of Ephesians 6:12). We are to love our human enemies(not without the power of the Holy Spirit living in us), bless those who curse us, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you…(Matthew 5:44) This is the truth, the life we are to live, and the way that Jesus would have us follow Him in. Even though I believe in the second coming of Jesus Christ and as much as I physically would love to go home some days, I continue to pray for this nation. I pray for a humbling to take place and that unity would prevail over this hatred.
Well I guess you’ve got a glimpse of what makes me passionate. I’ve stood in the face of rejection many times and it stinks, but it’s not an excuse for me to hate someone. I’ve been betrayed, beaten and mocked, but I’ve forgiven them and prayed for them to come to the Lord. We who claim salvation and hope with great excitement the day we get to go to heaven, have a lot to do before we go. Jesus’s command is still the same. Go and tell others about Him, make disciples, and baptism them in the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit. That’s our purpose, our calling in life. Because how are people going to know if we don’t tell them. He has gifted us all to proclaim the gospel in our own way. Some speak, some go into ministry, some sing, and some write. The list goes on and on. Find your niche, if you haven’t already, and get busy!
My niche is writing, and acting, as in drama productions. Back in the 90’s and early 2000’s I had the unbelievable opportunity to portray Jesus in several passion plays. Our church at the time was known for its drama department. They put on Easter and Christmas productions before we got there and some time after we left. (new ministry opportunity) I do not like being on stage but I started out with a non-speaking part as the disciple Phillip. I was bit by the drama bug as they say. The next year I portrayed the disciple John and actually had some speaking parts. I found that it was easier to play someone else on stage. In ‘92 the fellow who had been portraying Jesus moved and the drama minister let me try out for the part. As you know I got the part, and my life was about to change….
I’ll come back to that in a later blog. I had left you last time with me being 20, married, and the father of a one year old daughter. I had quit school and got a full time job working in a delicatessen in a popular store. Four years later found me as a deli manager in one of the biggest stores. My manager who I had worked for became my assistant and we ran the number one counter in the county. Union money and a lot of working overtime. This is 3 years before Jesus and I became one. I was drinking everyday and starting early in the morning. I denied having a problem and even had the audacity to drink at work and let my help drink with me. Needless to say things at home were not at all good, and my wife gave birth to our first son. It was 1984.
I’ll continue next time. It took me awhile after salvation to see how God was working behind the scenes to bring me to my knees. Unfortunately I had and still have an extremely strong will. Part of being autistic. So never give up on loved ones or friends who are struggling. Keep praying and know God is working behind the scenes to answer your prayers! Have a great night, be safe. God bless ❤️
Don’t forget to comment and hit like if you like. 😁 Talk to you soon…
In the beginning…
Those are words that have been spoken for centuries. Thousands upon thousands have used it in context of teaching about the Bible. Today I’m using them to start off my first ever blog. In the beginning is where we start things, obviously, and I’m going to share where we are going with this.
My 65th birthday has come and gone( yay, Medicare! ), and I was wondering what I could do that might help some people navigate life. Whether it be a word of comfort, or encouragement, or maybe I’ve written something funny that may lift your spirits. Through some near fatal events in my life, I’m finding myself kind of useless right now and I’m not used to that at all. Ever been there before? My heart and prayers go out to all those who are disabled, it is not fun.
I named my blog after a scripture verse found in my favorite book, the Bible. It’s from the Gospel of John, chapter 14, verse 6. This is Jesus, the Christ, speaking to his disciples at the end of the famous Last Supper. He is telling them He has to leave them, and they want to know where He is going. He states “ I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father but through me ” . ( New King James Version )
The blog is titled : This – way – truth – life.blog. We are going to journey through this way, what way. , whose way? , my wrong way, His perfect way. We’re going to discuss this truth. Which truth? , whose truth? , my misconception of the truth, outside truths, and how I finally understood the truth. Finally, this life. Are we living the life we were intended to? , is it the dream life? , how to screw up your life ( how I did it ) , thank God for 2nd chances and more at life, and why did Jesus call himself the life?
Now that you know how this is going to go, I guess I should say something about myself. I live in Florida on the east coast. I’m an implant from New York. In 1988 my then wife and I were all excited to move to vacation land. 33 years later and many changes, it has been far from vacation land. ( I did move to Reading Pa for 4 years to help my Mom and Dad)
I was born and raised on Long Island NY in the suburbs. Life wasn’t all that bad until 9th grade when I became the butt of everyone’s jokes. Yep, I was the guy who got bullied. This went on until my senior year. I hated school, and got mad at my father and mother who weren’t much help through it all. Funny though, I never once had a thought of major retaliation. Maybe a nice punch in a couple of kids faces but never hurting people to the point of death. I later learned that God was with me even then even though it didn’t feel like it. I had prayed a lot for Him to make it all stop, but it didn’t help. There’s a funny thing about prayer that took me a long time to learn.
At the age of 14 I had started my way to becoming an alcoholic and drug addict. I did what I could to fit in instead of walking away. I was depressed and the only thing that helped was drinking, which of course made it worse. I remember smoking pot and drinking with my supposed best friend and his new buddies and listening to them laughing at me through out the night. I had decided to live the old saying “ If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em ” . My grades started to fall, I became the class clown, and began to get into trouble. I was thrilled to graduate and leave the high school.
I never applied to any colleges, which was to bad, I should have left town for 4 years. I ended up in community college taking the usual AA courses. I really needed the other AA, but I denied I had any problem with alcohol. I took a girl from our rival school to her prom. Thank God my complexion cleared up and my parents got me contacts. No more “ zit face ” or “ four eyes ”. Never went to my own prom. I got a part time job and met a coworker who I started dating. Still drinking and smoking weed and cigarettes, occasionally taking pills and snorting cocaine. By my 20th birthday I was married and a father of a beautiful baby girl. ( she still is all of that and more! )
Well you can see which way I had chosen, and I walked away from the Catholic Church as soon as I could. God was no help for me. I accepted my own truth, and I was living the life my choices were leading me into. Today I am still living with the consequences of my choices and actions. I may not have been that keen on furthering my education, but I was already entrenched in the school of life. The feeling of something was missing was prevalent, but I didn’t know what it could be.
I think this is a good place to end for now. Google says to keep it around a thousand words. I will be adding to the blog each week. Feel free to share your thoughts and questions. God bless all who reads this ❤️
The Way, Truth, and Life 